If you have a thin skin, use hookup and dating apps at your own peril. At times, despite (and possibly because of) your open-heartedness, you will be scratched and clawed — possibly even emotionally mangled.

If you are fortunate enough to get a response from your dreamboat, you may still experience loooooong gaps between texts. Get used to it and never, ever show impatience. Understand the texting medium. Apps are one giant awkward silence, one big pregnant pause. Accept this. No one owes you anything at the early stages of a connection.

While pictures may be worth a thousand words, such is not always the case with profile pics. Some people will look (and feel!) much better to us in person than their pixelated facsimiles. For others, the opposite will be true. This may sound obvious, but let’s not forget the takeaway:

Just because you are on the hunt for a relationship, don’t assume others care the first thing about intimacy and want more than a BJ.

Just because you are looking for fun with slings and restraints, don't assume others can handle even gentle tickling.

Just because you want passionate connected sex, don't assume others even want to see your face when you enter their bedroom.

Since fake profiles and nefarious intent can easily be hidden within the anonymity of the Internet, escalate all encounters as soon as possible. Never waste days/weeks/months texting when you don’t know if the photos are real or if there is actual chemistry between you and your crush. It is often a recipe for frustration and disappointment. Your time is valuable. Don’t waste it on posers who are getting off while you are wasting your precious time with them.

App companies don’t discriminate when it comes to users. They cater to the general public, and, while that may sound wonderfully egalitarian, it does pose a filtering problem for many of us because no one has been prescreened. If you walked into say a county fair, how many of the people there would you actually resonate with as a potential friend or lover? It’s like finding a golden ticket.

App companies don’t discriminate when it comes to users. They cater to the general public, and, while that may sound wonderfully egalitarian, it does pose a filtering problem for many of us because no one has been prescreened. If you walked into say a county fair, how many of the people there would you actually resonate with as a potential friend or lover? It’s like finding a golden ticket.

This question arose from a man in response to the above image I posted. I believe it’s an insightful inquiry as this is indeed the work, isn’t it? 

First, let’s be honest. Self-love, even during the good times, can be challenging for many of us. Thus, it’s really important that we don’t eviscerate ourselves during life’s inevitable face plants when we forget to do so.

I have faced my mortality a couple of times already in my life. Does it make this ride any easier? I would say it depends on the moment, but mostly, unequivocally, yes.

Some days I feel very frightened and held hostage by my fear, but more often than not I catch myself and see my fear as an absolutely fitting response for today’s situation. I breathe through it. It has been a long process for me to learn to neither judge, nor shame myself for feeling such feelings.