APPtitude Tip #2: Learn to Embrace Asynchronous Time

APPtitude Tip #2: Learn to Embrace Asynchronous Time

If you are fortunate enough to get a response from your dreamboat, you may still experience loooooong gaps between texts. Get used to it and never, ever show impatience. Understand the texting medium. Apps are one giant awkward silence, one big pregnant pause. Accept this. No one owes you anything at the early stages of a connection.

The reason for a delayed response is always a mystery. Between text volleys, your hottie could be folding laundry engrossed in Tiger King 2, completely unaware that you are desperately clinging to every one of his emojis to fill your hungry heart. Don’t show your hand. Give him space. Be cool.

And never, ever forget: Batteries die. Phones fall in toilets. Angry bosses want things STAT. Friends show up unannounced. People smoke weed and zonk out. And, if the object of your affections is at all popular or has other lovers or partners, you better simply accept the fact that you are not the only one vying for his attention. Take a (humble) number.

Save yourself a lot of heartache and NEVER make assumptions as to what is happening on the other end. NEVER assume that someone does or doesn’t wish to connect with you based on their speed of correspondence. Instead, learn to make peace with the pause button and asynchronous communication. Find your equanimity in it or you may become unhinged.

RECOMMENDATION: To prevent long gaps, start a compelling conversation that sucks your desired one into your orbit and keeps him engaged. It’s really on you. Also, if someone is consistently too slow to respond, they may just not be that into you. If their level of engagement doesn’t feel good, by all means...move on! 

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